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92_HR0612
LRB9213645RHrh
1 HOUSE RESOLUTION
2 WHEREAS, The members of the Illinois House of
3 Representatives is pleased to honor milestone events in the
4 lives of the citizens of the State of Illinois; and
5 WHEREAS, Red Schwartz broke 70 the other day, that's a
6 lot of clubs; and
7 WHEREAS, Red Schwartz is so old that when he was a kid,
8 the Dead Sea was only slightly ill; and
9 WHEREAS, We've been asked to say a couple of words about
10 Red Schwartz, how about "short" and "cheap"; and
11 WHEREAS, It has come to the attention of the Illinois
12 House of Representatives that the Honorable (or not so) "Red"
13 Schwartz is the subject of a roast by the Centralia Elks; and
14 WHEREAS, Sally Schwartz is in the process of being
15 declared a saint by the Vatican for her many years in
16 purgatory by virtue of her marriage; and
17 WHEREAS, "Red" Schwartz gave hairstyling tips to Lou
18 Henson of the University of Illinois; and
19 WHEREAS, "Red" Schwartz is a member of the insurance
20 industry, the only profession that is held in less esteem
21 than members of the legislature; therefore, be it
22 RESOLVED, BY THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES OF THE
23 NINETY-SECOND GENERAL ASSEMBLY OF THE STATE OF ILLINOIS, that
24 we congratulate "Red" Schwartz on his roast ceremony by the
25 Centralia Elks; and be it further
26 RESOLVED, That a suitable copy of this resolution be
27 presented to "Red" Schwartz as an expression of our esteem.